1. Hate your social image? Do you go the extra mile to hide yourself in public? Facebook is the ideal platform to build a new you, a someone you’ve always desired to be irrespective of whether that someone is a popular hunk, a queen-bee type, a miss ‘goody-two-shoes’, a wall flower, an enigma, a breathless rapper or even a social retard for that matter. Facebook lets you emulate it all! And oh, don’t ask what it does for your self esteem.
2. Does your English have no head or tail? Do you yearn to walk THE Walk and talk THE Talk? Facebook teaches you all that and more. It pushes you headlong into the world of the Facebook Literature & Lifestyle.
3. Are you an unmotivated jobless wreck? Facebook can give your professional life newfound dimensions! It brings out the best in you, be it a fledging farmer, a multi-cuisine chef or a creepy mafia. What more! The minute a slag sets in, Quit-Switch-Voila! And there, you have a brand new job!
4. Looking for credibility? Facebook also shows you that there’s more to a profile than a job profile. After all your Facebook profile decides your social success and durability in society.
5. Are you hopeless at maintaining relationships? Facebook strengthens the bonds that bind. It teaches you the art of self-love. It lets you bask in the glory of your relationship status. While it brings you closer to people; it also helps you free yourself of the same. Breaking up on Facebook is convenience personified. It helps build a hype around the event and alert all the potential bachelors and spinsters floating around in Facebook.
6. Are you feeling out of love? No one loves you, huh! Don’t Cha worry hun’, love haunts the white walls of Facebook. It is the most intelligent matrimonial site ever invented. There’re a zillion black hearts on the prowl out there. Girls, guys, babies aplenty are ornamenting the F world with the promiscuous black heart. ♥
7. Never owned a diary? No problemo. Turn your status bar into that diary you never had. Vent out all your bottled-up frustrations. Let your woes and your fears flood the walls of Facebook. Let Facebook be that shoulder you could never lean on.
8. You have no clue what your kids are up to beyond the walls of your home? Befriend those little nuggets on Facebook and turn on that charm, be a Daddy Cool or a Super Mommy! Bring out the fading retro element in you and parade it on Facebook. In the process bind them to your scrutinizing F leash. It’s a two-dimensional benefit, Uncle!
9. Have you always had a flair for psycho-analytical psycho-mental gibberish? Facebook lets you preach and feed your knowledge to those deprived innocents and even those who don’t care. Let yourself be heard!
10. Ever wanted to be famous? Turn yourself into a Brand name! Promote, advertise, and put yourself on the highest pedestal. Bring out the viral virus in you and spam your way into people’s Facebook lives. You never know, you might surpass Facebook itself!
What more could you ask of life! 🙂